The golden years, not so gold

I want to relive the times when there were fatty cheeked babies to kiss, when my hugs cured all cuts and scrapes and bumped noses and I somehow made the world right for everyone and even though my name was shouted a million times a day, I answered every single call because they were important and I was necessary.

I'd like to go back to the time when the old man actually winked at me and stole quick kisses and looked at me in the eye, instead of staring blankly at the TV and ignoring me because the beauty I once had is gone.

I really miss the days when my peers thought a lot about me and I was funny and made them laugh but now that I’m older, I’m just an irrelevant, pile of refuge quietly swept away behind some forsaken door waiting to be told they don’t need me anymore.

I wish that when I ask my children a question, they would at least have the common courtesy to answer, but technology has an 'ignore' button, which I feel is too often used, on me anyway. I wish that if I sat in a room with my children, they would at least have the interest to engage in a conversation with me instead of head bent, texting, playing, or reading on their i-device. Am I that bad to be around? They may as well come right out and say it, “yea, this 3 by 4 device is waaaay more interesting than you”.

I feel like when you reach a certain age, you are relegated to the room in the corner, only to be retrieved when somebody needs something and you remain in this corner until you die. On that day, you get praise and admiration. It’s your big day.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not a self-centered, attention grabbing Narcissists. It’s not all about me, never has been. I just thought that being an old woman was going to be a sweet and gentle passing into the setting sun. Nobody told me it was going to go down this way. I didn't get the announcement: "Attention Mrs. Robinson, You are no longer relevant, please step to the side".